Hello! I'm Hayley.
Author of Amateur Widow, my first novel. It's really good, you should read it immediately.
Author of Amateur Widow, my first novel. It's really good, you should read it immediately.
"Reading Ms. Redman’s exceptionally moving, unexpectedly funny account of struggle and loss makes one thing clear: you want someone like her beside you when grief sweeps over your own life. Someone to fiercely advise you that you should grieve exactly as you need to, without comparing or justifying yourself to others, someone to make bang-on, hilariously inappropriate observations that let you know you’re still capable of laughing, someone to give you hope that after living though your current pain you may be able to connect even more deeply with the people and the world around you. This beautiful book makes a compelling argument for opening up to love even when staring down the certainty of death. "
"This book is heartbreaking, eye-opening, and hard to put down. In this true story, Hayley Redman takes us into her world of a husband living and dying of ALS and her daily struggle as his main caregiver. Hayley’s style allows us to see the love and humor that has been in her life as well as the pain and sorrow. I appreciated her deep insights into life, death, and how others respond to these experiences. I highly recommend this book."
That's me! I am the author! In real life, I am a mum, dog mum, wife and paramedic, living in northern Ontario.
It started as a writing assignment from my therapist. I struggled with sitting in silence and processing thoughts but when my hands were busy, the words flowed. Random thoughts and painful memories poured on to the page, until one day, it looked like a chapter. Then it looked like a goal.
To heal and share some healing. The writing of this book has been a journey that I should have taken long ago. It required tears, conversations, and facing thoughts and fears I had buried deep. Holding a copy of my own book is a gift of freedom to myself. I hope you read Amateur Widow and know that whatever pain you carry while struggling with loss, I feel it with you.
When Amateur Widow was but a twinkle in my eye, it was going to include images. Photographs and drawings that speak to specific chapters. My brilliant but meanish editor, Joanne (who is cringing over the word 'meanish') clipped my wings and axed that idea.
WATCH ME FLY JOANNE!
Maybe not fly exactly, more of a mild, homemade website flex. Either way, below, you'll find some chapter accents.
This was my idea of what the cover would be. To be reproduced by someone talented, with the ability to draw hands. It's (a generously flattering) me, with my boys, going to the funeral. For the non-Brits, the "L" represents learner. The "L" plate is what all new drivers have on their car, while they are learning. It says: "Be gentle with me, I am new at this." and, "Ah, now see why you're driving like that." The idea got replaced with a grown up, crayon-free version that I love.
Look at this pair of cuties. The original wedding photograph, screaming loud and clear from 1993. Healthy, happy Donovan, and me in the emerald dress my Nana and Grampa Watkins bought me.
Because if you can deliver a death notification to your 7&9 year old boys,
You're a death notification expert.
Artist: Dylan Shaw. Aged 7
Daddy, flying in the sky. Mommy, Scruff and Dylan waving. Donovan playing hockey and showing Daddy a goal.
I have learned a great deal about my younger self. I am close to writing an alternate ending to Chapter 16 or, maybe a note about my changed perspective.
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